I have struggled with overspending almost my entire adult life.

No one taught me how to handle money; I grew up in lower-middle-class (on a good day) household(s) and watched my divorced parents either avoid the topic like the plague or complain about it like it was the most important thing in the world.

It has taken a lot of mental work just to get to where I am now, and even now it’s not perfect- I am not a millionaire, I don’t have enough in savings considering I lost my full-time job a month and a half ago, and I still struggle to keep off Amazon on my bad mental health days.

But when I say it is night and day compared to what it used to be, I mean it. There are ways to overcome your overspending habits and develop good habits in their place. I am sharing the practical tips here that are continuously helping me and that I hope will help you on your journey to financial wellness.

Question Yourself

Whenever you feel like adding something to your cart (virtual cart included), ask yourself the questions below:

Why do I want this item?

Is it because you think those throw pillows will go great with your living room décor? Because you need a dopamine hit after a long week? Or is it because you really have been looking for a pair of jeans with that exact type of distressing and fit for MONTHS and you finally found it? Really define your why for wanting this item.

What do I think this thing will do for me if I get it?

Is it going to cover up an emotional wound? Make you temporarily feel better? Or will it actually add value to your life in one way or another that goes beyond the aesthetic or emotional reasons?

What will I not be able to do with my money if I buy this thing?

If you buy the throw pillows, that’s one less day with your rental car on your dream Hawaii trip, or one less day of retirement. Where your money would otherwise go is up to you and your goals, something we deeply explored in this article.

By understanding your motivations behind purchases, you gain more insight into whether you actually want the item you’re considering or if you just want the emotional response you will get by purchasing the item.

You will also get the benefit of feeling great about the purchases that pass these questions with flying colors.

Maybe you did wait for two months to find the perfect pair of jeans or for the PlayStation Portal to finally be in stock. Regardless of the reason, you know you made the purchase for the right reason instead of for an emotional one, and that feeling of clarity comes second to none.

Wish List It

And no, I don’t mean on Amazon.

Open the notes app on your phone and create an “I Want” list. Pin it to the top of your lists so it’s always easy to locate.

Whenever you want something, put it on the list. You can even add a URL to make sure you can order it later.

Wait at least 48 hours and then decide if you still want the item. If you do and can afford it, then you know you actually wanted it and your desire for it was not an emotional reaction.

The reason I recommend doing this offline and not on a site like Amazon or Target is because it is WAY too easy to continue to checkout on those websites. You can do it on autopilot without even thinking about it; they’re designed to make you spend money.

Which brings me to my next point.

Implement a Bulk Shopping Day

Designate one day a month (or less if you want) where you make all your non-essential purchases. This could be things on your wish list that you’ve decided you actually want, any birthday gifts you need for the next month, or if you’re like me, it’s a time to buy any new books I want to read (despite my growing TBR pile).

This allows you to use your wish list more effectively and be able to save and set aside a budget specifically for that day, without letting those miscellaneous $5 Amazon buys add up and ruin your good intentions.

Also, if you see something you want but it’s not your spending day, you can just tell yourself you’ll get it then and move on with your life. Decide later which of your wants are more important to you.

I cannot take credit for coming up with this; I think I read it on Paige Pritchard’s Instagram at some point. She has a great program called Overcoming Overspending that goes more in-depth into the mental and emotional work required to heal some deep-seeded money issues. I do recommend checking her out if you think you need more help than these posts offer- this is not sponsored, I promise she has no idea who I am and I am not in her program, but I have seen great things.

Have a Frog Jar:

I have a mason jar sitting on my desk, and whenever I effectively resist the urge to impulse buy something, I put a tiny little resin frog in it.

It may sound too simple or even childish, but the little reward system in my brain loves it, and gamifying things works for a reason. You don’t need little resin frogs. It could be anything you have a bunch of that’ll fit in a jar, like paperclips or popsicle sticks or, if you want, a little resin duck instead.

However, buying things for this craft project kind of defeats the purpose, so please try to use what you already have. A cup and little cut up strips of paper work just fine too, even if they aren’t as cute.

Once your reward jar is full, treat yourself to a meaningful experience that enriches your life beyond material possessions. Whether it’s a rejuvenating massage, a gourmet dining experience, or an adventurous getaway, invest in experiences that nourish your soul and deepen your sense of fulfillment, not on purchases that will detract from what you’re trying to accomplish.

Make It Harder To Fail

I saved this one for last because there’s a really good chance you’ve heard it before, but at the same time it is one of the most strategic things you can do to stop yourself if you have a spending problem.

Delete all your saved payment methods from your browser.

Delete them from your favorite sites (especially Amazon if that’s your weakness).

Delete them from your mobile wallet.

Remove them from anywhere they are saved, so that if you are tempted to buy something, you HAVE to pause, go get your card, and give yourself time to process everything we’ve already gone over.

Ask yourself your three questions. Think about the frog jar. Think about adding whatever you’re buying to the want list instead. Can it wait until your monthly shopping day?

If you did all that and still managed to get your card info entered for a purchase, then it’s fair to say that for one reason or another you really needed or wanted that item, and you can feel confident knowing you did the work.

Your Mindful Money Wrap Up:

There’s one thing I want to make really clear here- I am not vilifying spending. Shopping trips can be really fun, and any person who’s ever been inside a TJ Maxx or Target knows that sometimes the stores really do tell you what you need.

But I am saying to have a plan. Put the safety nets in place, protect yourself, build trust by sticking to your habits and guidelines. It really is true that self-discipline creates freedom in a lot of areas, and this is one of those areas.

If you do want to go on a shopping spree, here’s a small piece of advice: set a daily max you want to spend, take that out in cash or put it on a different debit card than your normal budget, and let yourself have it. It’s okay if that’s your intention. The point of this article is to help people stop unintentional overspending, not purposeful spending.

When I think of all the money I have spent on useless things and what I wish that money could’ve done for me instead, it’s easy to beat myself up, but without coming from where I did, I would not know how capable I am now of growth and change. None of this stuff is easy, but utilized together as a system, it can all be extremely rewarding.

Check out the other articles in this Financial Foundations series below to continue on your personal journey:

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